Little ducks

Random thoughts about time....

Well my little lady is already pushing six months, I'm not sure quite how or when that happened.  It all goes so fast.  The funny thing is, quite often I find myself thinking that I wish that Kai and Mahe weren't so old already, I miss them being babies.  Mahe was two last week, and Kai was four.  But if one of them was still a baby, then I wouldn't have Lena, and I wouldn't want that.  I wouldn't want all of them to be small at the same time either, people think I'm mad enough having three under five.  (It was three under four.)

I suppose I'm happy with it all really, and there's always part of me waiting for the next stage, seeing the new things that they learn, but at the same time, I really don't want them to get older, just keep them small forever.  Can I have them little and old all at once please?

Welcome to the world Lena Jo

I wrote this not long after having our third baby, Lena Jo on April 23rd, but I haven't added it to here until now:

Although I know that every pregnancy, every birth and every baby is different, this being my third baby, I had quite a few preconceptions about how things would pan out. Although I'd been doing everything in my power to ensure that I didn't have another long labour, I was fully expecting to be at it for quite a while again, and to be overdue. In the last week or so though, I'd begun to have doubts, I was pretty sure that I'd had a show, and this baby was engaged and much lower than either of the boys ever had been at this stage, maybe this time it would be different?

On the Thursday evening, I gave Mahe his bedtime feed, and immediately got quite bad braxton hicks contractions, they didn't last for too long, and soon stopped. He was awake again in the night, and after another feed, I had about half an hour more of contractions that came to nothing. I didn't really think much more about it, I'd decided that Friday wasn't going to be the day that I had my baby, although I'd quite have liked it to be, as it was my Nana's birthday.

I spent most of the day pottering round and finishing off little jobs that I'd been meaning to do for a while but just hadn't got around to as yet. I didn't have a twinge all morning, and at three, when I was picking up Kai from Big Steps, I was really quite surprised to suddenly have a big contraction that took my breath away. I still didn't really think that it was the start of anything, so once I'd driven home, I walked up to the shop to post some letters. It quickly became apparent that things were happening and that my baby was on the way. I timed the contractions and found that I was having them every five minutes or so, and they were lasting about 30 seconds. I text my midwife, and tried to keep my mind busy so that I wasn't thinking about the pain. Because I've been being a good girl and doing my homework, I was doing my best to get into the right position, seeing as I've had such long labours before, I spent each contraction on all fours with my bottom wiggling.

Unfortunately I'd decided to go into labour on one of the few occasions when my midwife wasn't on call, so after looking forward to knowing the midwife who was going to deliver my baby, right at the last fence, it wasn't to be. Her back up midwife knew all about me though, and shared similar ideas with my midwife, so it was ok. I spoke to her first at about five and she said that they would be back in touch with me shortly to decide what to do. Usually they waited until the contractions were coming around every three minutes, but as I was going for a vbac they thought they might want me sooner.

It became clear, as I waited for them to call back that perhaps my body wasn't waiting around in quite the same way that it had in the past, he contractions were now coming every four minutes, and between them I managed to let M know that we'd better get his sister round to watch the boys and get going. I called the midwife back, and said I thought I'd better come in.

It's a half hour drive to the hospital, and I spent much of the journey thinking, just slow down and hold on a bit longer, as things were certainly moving along. We reached Waitati only to discover that they were diverting the traffic up into the back of beyond due to a bad accident on the main road. M pulled up at the road block, and in true television fashion explained that his wife was in labour, they quickly waved us through, I think M was a little disappointed that we didn't get a police escort though.

Once at the hospital, all should have been plain sailing, but a few little things started to go wrong. My promised cordless monitoring went out of the window, as no one could actually get the one remaining machine to work. (The other two were out of order due to error in one case, and someone accidentaly chucking one of the $4,000 pads into the laundry basket in the other.) So for a third time I was to spend my labour wired to the monitor. Next came the fun of trying to site the cannula, which they were putting in just in case I needed a drip. They also needed to take some blood as I seemed to have two NHI numbers and no one could work out my blood group as a result. When I had Mahe they took two attempts to get it in, and I ended up with a very swollen hand, due to my small veins. This time, the midwife decided to get the consultant in to do it, and even he took quite a while to find a suitable site to place it.

Finally it was time to check how far along I was, and after my previous experiences of having to be told that I was only a few centimetres dilated, I could have kissed the midwife when she told me that I was already 7 - 8 cm. I quickly got back into the bottom in the air, on all fours and wiggling like a mad thing with every contraction position that I'd been in before. They gave me gas and air, which helped a little bit, but to be honest I only used a handful of times because it made my mouth so dry.

By this point the student midwife I'd been seeing had also arrived, so although I hadn't got my midwife, there was someone there who'd been following the rest of my pregnancy which was nice. They kept telling me how well I was doing, and how well I seemed to be coping. I told them that it must be my British stiff upper lip, but I'm not sure that these Kiwi's always know how to take my sense of humour. I decided about now that I needed to go to the toilet, and discovered that actually sitting on the loo was really very comfortable. I stayed there for three contractions, and was a little concerned in case I ended up having the baby on the loo, but the midwife assured me that although she'd had some close calls in the past, she'd always managed to prevent the baby arriving in the toilet bowl in the past.

She'd been asking me if I was feeling any need to push for a little while, but I wasn't feeling the need at all. Once off the loo, she wanted to see how far along I was. I was quite surprised to find out that not only was I fully dilated, but the babies head was actually only about an inch from appearing. I still felt absolutely no need to push, and I continued to breath through each contraction, letting my body do the work. After a while the midwife said that I should perhaps think about trying a push with the next contraction as the doctors tended to start to panic if things went on for too long, with me having a vbac. Trying to push, when I didn't actually feel the need to was very hard, the midwife used her fingers to give me something to push against, and before long little baby was on the way out.

I think the whole pushing process took about 45 minutes, which was a similar length of time that it took with Mahe, but everything else had been much faster. They held up a mirror so that I could see the head emerge, and the progress I was making with each push. When the head arrived, unlike Mahe, who lay there still until he actually fully arrived, little babe opened one eye and wiggled a bit. Little babe was delivered straight onto my chest and half wrapped in a towel, while I had my first cuddle. M cut the cord, and they gave me an injection for the placenta which followed fairly quickly.

We'd been busy taking in our new arrival for about ten minutes, when a different midwife (the one who'd been there for the birth had to go and deliver another baby, apparently there is very rarely more than one lady in labour at a time, but that night there were three,) asked what we'd had. M had a look, and had to double check “is it a girl?” I could hardly believe it, I'd actually got a daughter!

She was soon having her first feed, and although feeding a little one again took a bit of getting used to, she was soon having a mammoth feed. Meanwhile I was having an array of different midwives checking my blood loss, and that things were returning to normal. Mic-feed and mic-being poked and prodded Lena suddenly went blue and floppy, and she was quickly whisked away. I don't know exactly what happened, and she quickly recovered, but it was perhaps the scariest thing that I've ever experienced. Apparently sometimes they forget to breath and swallow, and she was thoroughly checked over to rule out any other problems.

After everything had been sorted out I got my tea and toast, which were divine, and then a shower, which was so good that I would have been quite happy to spend the rest of the the week in there. A few more checks were done, and we made our way back to the ward. I was still too full of adrenaline to get much sleep, that and the noises of the hospital and the need to check my little girl every few minutes, meant that I did little more than doze for half an hour here and there.

I'd done it though, a little girl and my third, and by far my easiest, birth.

So tired

I really could do with more sleep, this whole pregnancy thing makes you tired at the best of times, but with Mahe not sleeping very well at the moment, and then me not able to get back to sleep after getting up to him, I'm really suffering at the moment.  Sorry, didn't mean to just moan, but I am feeling pretty rotten at the moment.  Still when baby number three turns up, at least I'll be used to sleepless nights I suppose......

Another new venture.

Well, since my last entry, when I think I mentioned my new on-line shop, http://www.nzwools.co.uk I've also become involved in something else. 
I ordered a load of bamboo knitting needles and crochet hooks for the site, and thought I'd try selling a few here in New Zealand too, so I listed them on Trademe.  (Which, in case you are wondering, is a bit like ebay.)  They sold far better than I expected, so now I have another on-line store, this time just for needles and hooks, and it's got everything from circular needles, to crochet hooks, to tunisian crochet hooks on it.  All quite exciting really.  http://www.knitnacks.webs.com

KnitNacks

I'll have to try to keep you up to date more often though, I seem to go ages between making entries on here.

Wow; It's been a long time!

Well, I've not been on here for a while, I've been quite busy though.  As if having two little boys wasn't enough to keep me occupied, I'm having a third baby in April (yay!) I'm not sure what flavour as yet, but I'm thinking that it will probably be another boy.  (Of course, if I'm honest, I'd like a little girl, but I don't mind really.)
I've also started a business, selling knitting wool and yarn, basically there is so much lovely stuff here in New Zealand, and I thought it might be nice to share it with the rest of the world.  The prices are in £, but I will ship for the same price (once you've converted it that is) anywhere in the world, and the price includes the cost of postage. If you know someone who knits or crochets, then let them know about http://www.nzwools.co.uk
I'm also working on a new free pattern for the site, there are quite a few on there already, so I hope to have that available very soon.  Here's a picture of the finished article:

PhpWMMA10PM

Right, I'd better get on, busy busy busy at the moment.  Will try to update again soon.......

Kai's Birth Story; two and a half years on.

I really, really meant to do this sooner, much sooner.  I'm not really sure how much I remember of Kai's birth, it was over two and a half years ago now.  What I do know, is that at the time, I hadn't really come to terms with what happened, and perhaps if I'd done this sooner, it would have be easier to deal with.

The whole of my pregnancy with Kai had been very easy and straight forward, with no problems or things to worry about.  I fully expected the birth to be fairly straight forward, and I think that I could have been more prepared for things not quite going to plan.  I had thought, right from the start that Kai would be late, just because my Mum was late having the three of us, and I'd got it into my head that Kai would arrive on the 1st October.  I wasn't surprised that I reached 41 weeks, with no sign of a baby, (apart from my huge bump of course.)  I was given a sweep on the Wednesday, which was really quite uncomfortable (not that I expected it to be a nice experience) as I hadn't started to dilate at all.  I thought nothing of it really, and didn't expect anything to happen. 
The next morning, I sat up in bed, ready to do lots of things to keep my mind off waiting for the baby, and found myself sitting in a pool of water.  It took me a few minutes to realise that things might be starting, and for some reason, I seemed more concerned with tidying up the mess, than ringing the hospital.  Once I finally got myself into gear, and called the hospital, I began to feel quite excited.  Mike was working in Leicester at the time, and had to travel back home, and have a shower before we headed to the hospital.  We spent the next hour or so in the delivery suite, being monitored, but as I was still to have any contractions, they booked me in for an induction on Saturday morning if nothing happened in the mean time, and sent me off home.  I spent the next day and evening in front of the TV, waiting for something to happen, but alas, nothing.
The next morning, I noticed that the liquid on my pad had changed colour again, so we spent a second morning in the delivery suite with me attached to the monitors, but still nothing had changed.  I was getting the odd tightening, but nothing that looked like he was on his way.  It didn't help that Kai kept kicking the heart monitor pad out of the way, and we ended up being in there for quite a while.
That evening I finally started to get regular contractions, at around 11 pm.  Not really enough to say that things had started, but too intense to let me get any sleep.  I spent the night playing around on the computer, and watching television, (there really is very little on in the wee small hours.) Finally at around 5 am I called the hospital again, and they told me to come in.  For the third morning in a row I found myself in the delivery suite, attached to the monitors.
As the morning progressed, there was very little change, I'd barely dilated at all, and they decided to speed things up with the drip.  I was doing quite well at this point and managing without any pain relief at all.  As they increased the dose and I found the contractions stronger and closer together, I started using the gas and air.  I should have tried to be on my feet more at this stage, not easy when you're strapped to the heart monitor, but not impossible, and I could have stood up a bit more.
When they checked me to see how dilated I was, the midwife thought that Kai's head felt a bit soft, more like his bottom, so they decided to scan him, and check that he wasn't breach.  He was head down, but he'd been squashed down for so long without coming out that it made his head feel soft.  As we were there for so long, when the shift changed, the next midwife and doctor had the same concern and had to check again, so I found myself having two scans while in labour. 
By about lunch time, I was feeling very tired, and finding the contractions harder to cope with.  Poor Mike had gone without food all morning so I sent him off to get some sandwiches.  I expected him to nip out to the car, and come straight back, but he ate them first and then called a few people, so by the time he returned, it felt like he'd been hours.  I was beginning to feel I needed more for the pain too.  We called the midwife in, she started checking the read-outs from the monitor.  With every contraction, Kai was having something called an "early" which basically meant that his heart rate was dropping.  They were concerned that it could be a sign that he was distressed, and so to check that all was well they decided to take a blood sample.  I didn't really take in what this involved, but soon found my feet in stirrups, while they tried to scratch the top of his head.  Trying to fit it all in between contractions, meant that it took three attempts, and I'm sure that I had half of the hospital staff in the room, peering up between my legs at one point.
They couldn't decide one way or another if he really was distressed, but suddenly I had the whole world in my room, discussing which theatre was free.  I couldn't quite get my head around the thought that I was about to have a section, and the next thing I knew, I was being wheeled away to theatre.
When they put the spinal block in, it was a wonderful feeling, suddenly all the pain was gone, and I started to fall asleep.  Mike asked me what it felt like, and was told off by one of the theatre nurses, because I had more important things on my mind right now.  They put a screen up to shield my lower half, and for a moment I was quite worried, as I could see my legs reflected in the light above me, but they soon covered that, so I couldn't see.  All of the hospital staff who weren't actually doing something right then, stood with their hands clasped in front of them, and Mike told me later, that he thought they were about to start preying, I'm told that it's the best position to stand in, to keep your hands sterile though.
The section itself was a bit of a blur, I remember being thrown about a bit, because he was wedged in quite well, but I remember little until he was pulled out.  We didn't know what we were having, so the consultant had shouted out, "it's a boy," before I got to see him.  They carried him over to be checked out, and I saw a little blue baby, with the longest arms and legs I had ever seen.  It was just how he seemed, but that first sight is burned into my memory for ever.  He was absolutely fine, and none the worse for his ordeal.  The wrapped him in a blanket and let me hold him for a minute or two, and then gave him to Mike while I was sorted out and tidied up.
It was around this point that I went into shock, I only know that's what it was because of a recent first aid course I had done, and it was nothing like I had expected.  I felt so cold, colder than I've ever been before, and although they wrapped me in a couple of heated blankets, it took quite a while for me to feel normal again.
The last thing that I had expected to happen, was that I would end up having a section, and I was totally unprepared for it.  I felt for a long time that I had somehow failed Kai, and I would get quite upset when I thought about it.  I came to terms with it more as time went on, and having Mahe really helped.  I felt so good after his birth, and not having to have a second section, that I think that it got rid of the final negative thoughts I had about Kai's birth.

Welcome to the world Mahe Finn

Mahe Finn

I've been meaning to do this for weeks, well three weeks and four days to be exact, since little Mahe was born.  Well, finally I'm getting round to it, writing his birth story, and then, just for balance, and because I didn't do it before, I think that I might do Kai's too, although that's two years, three weeks and three days overdue!
Despite feeling for the last couple of months, that this baby might actually be early, instead of overdue, the 23rd of September came and went and still no sign of anything happening, apart from the Braxton Hicks contractions that I'd been having for weeks.  I went to see the consultant on Friday morning, and he booked me in for an induction the following Thursday, I was really worried that he might have put me in for Kai's birthday on the Tuesday, which was the last thing that I wanted, but fortunately he didn't.  He also gave me a sweep, and said I was already 21/2 to 3 cm diallated, so things were looking good.  I fully expected to start in labour in the next few hours or so!  Needless to say I didn't and come Sunday morning I was feeling very dejected, as 48 hours had passed since the sweep and nothing had begun. I was beginning to feel really quite desperate, as I really didn't want to be induced, or have the new baby on Kai's birthday, and not only that I was feeling HUGE and so uncomfy!
Later that day, after having a nap, I started to get contractions, I'd had about three, twenty minutes or so apart before I let myself believe that things might be happening.  They got gradually stronger and closer together as the afternoon progressed, and after tea Mike took Kai over to my Mum and Dad's in case we needed to go into the hospital later that night.  As it was I'd watched Heartbeat, and Poirot was just starting when I decided that it was maybe time to go into the hospital, as they were about five minutes apart.
They checked me out when I got to the hospital, and I'd reached 31/2 to 4 cm, but obviously I still had a long way to go.  As I'd had a c-section last time, they were keeping a close eye on me, so they kept me in rather than send me home.  Mike got to go home for some sleep, but I just spent a couple of hours doing crosswords and looking at those trashy magazines that I only read when I'm at the doctors or dentist or such like.  After a few hours or so, I called the midwife and I'd progressed to around 5 cm and they moved me down to the delivery suite, as there was room, and called Mike back in.
It was about 5am on the Monday by this point, and I was hopeful that things would progress fairly quickly and I'd soon have my baby.  In case I had to have a drip for some reason, they came to put the thing that they put in your hand in my hand (really complicated way of putting that and I have NO idea what the technical term for all of that is!)  Only I have apparently quite small veins in the back of my hand, and it went in but came out the other side and ouch did it hurt!  They had to put it in my wrist instead and the back of my hand swelled up, and every time I moved my arm or hand it really ached.  I know that considering what else was happening, it would seem strange to complain about the pain from that, but really I think that it was one of the most painful things that happened that day.
Unfortunately when they checked me later, I hadn't progressed any further, so they decided to try and rupture my waters to get things moving.  Not that that was a problem, I was just disappointed that things hadn't got any further on their own.  A couple of hours later they checked me again, and as I still hadn't progressed they discussed the next step.  Basically I could either go onto a drip to move things along, or have a c-section.  I still really really wanted my vbac, although I'd been there for such a long time that I have to admit that I was tempted.  They put me on the drip, and although I'd used nothing up to this point, I asked for some gas and air, as the contractions were getting to me a bit.  A little while later the consultant came in, (not my consultant) and made it clear that he thought I should be having another section, they decided to give me until 4pm and then monitor things again. 
All morning, and through three shift changes of midwives, they had been really impressed that I'd not needed any pain relief, and I was just sitting there doing my crosswords, watching tv and being generally quite cheerful.  They increased the drip every half hour, and as they put it up to the strongest dose, I'm afraid that I had to ask for something a bit stronger to help with the pain.  They gave me a choice of an epidural, which I didn't want, Pethadrin, or something beginning with M which was similar to Pethadrin, but didn't last as long or effect the baby,  I decided to go for that, as I only had under two hours to go until they would send me in for a section if nothing had happened.  They gave me a jab in my thigh, about half an hour later, and it kicked in another twenty minutes after that.  It didn't really do much for the pain, just made me fel really light headed, so I felt a bit disconnected from the pain so it was easier to deal with.
Half an hour later I suddenly got this overwhelming urge to push, it took me totally by surprise, and I quickly pressed the buzzer to call the midwife in.  I'd just about convinced myself that I was going to have to have another section, and was feeling pretty low about it all, so I couldn't quite believe what was happening.  The midwife checked me and I was all ready to go!  For some reason I fully expected this bit to take ages, but it really didn't, with every push the midwife kept saying right this next one will be it, but I thought she was just saying that.  Less than half an hour later he was born!  The head arrived, and I was really quite surprised how easy the rest was, he just slipped out with the next push, and was born at 8 minutes past 4 in the afternoon, 17 1/2 hours after I got to the hospital. The midwife put him on my chest, I'd been so convinced that he was going to be a she, that I was quite surprised to see his boy bits!
I fed him almost straight away, and he had a good feed, which I was so pleased about.  He looked just like Kai did, newborn, except he was a pound lighter and had black, curly hair.
After the event Mike told me that when his head appeared, he was listening to the midwife who said that I had to really concentrate on the next push, and take it slowly.  He'd decided to really concentrate on what was happening, so he could see everything that happened.  I'd taken a look at the baby's head and asked if all was alright, I'd been quite surprised as I hadn't realised that he would be quiet at this point, and have his eyes closed.  The Midwife said he was fine, but Mike was thinking, oh no, there's something wrong, she's just saying that.  He says that he thought, right don't panic, and looked at the heart rate monitor.  As this was still going strong, he relaxed as the baby must be fine, only to realise that Mahe was on my chest and he'd missed it while he was thinking all of that.
After they'd sorted me out downstairs, they sent me for a bath and then put me in a wheelchair back to the ward.  They handed me Mahe and were about to wheel me out, when suddenly everything started to go black and I realised I was on the verge of passing out.  I quickly handed Mahe back to them while I recovered, didn't think it was a good start to drop my baby.  I was soon feeling better though, and able to settle down in the ward for a well deserved relax.

We've moved!

Well I've finally got the internet back, why does it take these companies so long to get anything sorted??  Any way after two weeks or so, I finally have access to email and the like again, yay!
Our new house is lovely, three bed rooms, and it has a utility room, bit sad I suppose to get excited about that, but it's nice to have more room.  I hate moving though, it's soooo stressful!  Least it doesn't seem to bother the little man, he has been chilled about it all, and has settled into sleeping in his own room with no problems at all.
His current latest trick to to stand up all of the time, all he wants to do is to have me hold onto his hands while he pulls himself up and then stands.  I don't mind, as it is very sweet, but he has to stand rather than sit, just when I would like him to sit so that I can get on with some other stuff.  He does attempt to walk a little bit, but he's quite a way off that just yet, thankfully!!
Any way just a quick one this time!  Have so much still to sort, there are so many different places to let know my change of address too, it's just a nightmare!

Been a long time....!

I've been completely useless at writing anything on here lately, sorry!  But just for a brief catch up, I've been very busy with work lately and of course looking after my little man.  Not only that but we've both been in the local paper, hope that this is big enough to read:

Uttoxpaper1

And then because we are clearly the only mother and baby that they know about at the paper they phoned us for another quote a few weeks later!  So here we are again:

Uttoxpaper2

I'm afraid I'm going to cheat a bit today, and not really write much myself.  Have to go feed the little man, just wanted to share our 'fame' with you though!

Stand up for yourself!

IMAG0019

My little man seems to be growing so fast at the moment!  Look at him here standing up, well nearly, he does need support and doesn't stay up right for vey long, but at six and a bit months I think that it's very impressive.  Not sure if he should be standing up of course, but sometimes you try and sit him down and he's having none of it!  He puts his legs rigid so that he's standing!

IMAG0020

He certainly seems impressed with himself in any case!  I think I've said before, I'm torn by wanting him to grow up and do things, and not wanting him to grow up at all.  Very silly of me I know, but I can't help it, it's so exciting when he does something new, but the thought of him being all grown up is so sad, I know that there is a long way to go yet though!!

It's been another beautiful few days, we even had the first BBQ of the summer on Saturday, and I've had my legs out in the sunshine, I do only have one skirt that I can fit into though!  Have to do something about that, not sure what!
Kai is giving me a few minutes peace at the minute, I'm supposed to be writing flyers, posters and the like for my cloth nappy venture, but I've got a bit distracted by writing this!  Just have to show you how Kai is sleeping at the moment,

IMAG0031

he has taken to moving round lots before he drops off, and sleeps on his side now, all curled up.  Went in to check on him a minute ago and he was like this, totally turned round in his cot!  Crazy little man!
Hmmm, really better get on now, while I have a few minutes to myself I suppose!